Firstly, here are a few basic principles to keep in mind:

  1. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Your goal is to encourage your partner to open up and expand their thinking.
  2. Keep It Short and Simple (KISS Principle): Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect coaching question. Focus on asking simple and clear questions and you will be doing much more than you realise to support your coachee.
  3. Reflect back when you’re unsure: If you're ever unsure what question to ask, reflect back what you're hearing and encourage your partner to share more. For example, “So far in the conversation I’ve heard X, Y, and Z. What else are you thinking or feeling about this?”

Secondly, when you feel an urge to ask ‘better’ coaching questions, ask yourself, what would better questions enable for my coachee? And where is my desire to ask better coaching questions coming from? Getting clarity on this might help you to formulate more specific questions that unlock greater insights for your coachee. Equally, it’s important to recognise that sometimes we can feel a certain amount of pressure to perform and be a great coach for our partner. Often, letting go of this pressure will allow you to be fully present and a better coach.

I’m applying all these basic principles already, what else can I do?

That’s great to hear! To take your questions to the next level, you might like to challenge yourself to pay close attention to the language that your partner is using. For example, how might they be limiting themselves, or where might they be being vague?

To identify limiting language, listen our for phrases like:

These are just a few examples, there are lots more that you will begin to notice. Once you’ve heard a limiting statement, you can ask follow up questions that challenge the language used: